^{by Sharon Quercioli}

Growing Up
Where do I begin…. When I was growing up in Ohio, I was fortunate to have several animals, dogs, cats, rabbits, horses, chickens, squirrels, etc. My mother and father, who were the loves of my life, had a rule in the family….no animals in the house! I could never understand that but played by the rules. Fast forward to when I got married… I used to rollerblade almost every day, and one day a little dog (shih tzu) followed me home. No tags on the dog, so I drove around to all the neighbors asking if they knew who this dog belonged to. After going to over twenty-five homes with no luck, I came home and told my husband that we needed to get some dog food and take care of this baby until we could find her home. The next day I took her to work with me. She was a perfect angel. Well, after several days with us and going to work with me, I was falling in love.

Louie
The next day she stayed home with my husband, and I could not wait to get home to see her and play with her. So, I walked in the house… and no dog. My husband then told me that the owners had come to the house… so, she was gone. I was heartbroken.
A few days later, I went to a pet store and was looking at dogs, came home and told my husband that they had a shih tzu and that he was adorable. It was Easter time, and my husband went to the pet store and bought the puppy for me as a gift. We named him Louie. Well, Louie was so special. He was beautiful, loving, smart, and, when I got home, he always brought me my slippers. We did everything together, and the first time we went on the plane to my mother’s home in Ohio I told her that Louie does not stay outside. Lol… Mom laughed remembering the rule, but she was fine with it. As a matter of fact, she fell in love with him, and mom would share her ice cream cones with him! Now anybody that knew my mom knew that this was unheard of.

Well…Louie lasted longer than my husband! We even fought over him in the divorce. No joke. I got him! We laugh about it now, but after seventeen wonderful years, Louie got sick on Valentine’s Day and had to be put down. It all happened so quickly. I was not ready. Here I was a mother losing her child. The pain was gut-wrenching, and the tears flowed. This was serious pain—the pain of a loss that I had experienced when I lost my father. I was devastated. Now I know why I never want to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Our four-legged children ask for nothing. Just love, companionship, food, water and a place to lay their head. I was comforted knowing that I gave all this to Louie, but the hole in my heart that I had I never imagined would be so big. I felt like it might never heal. Louie taught me unconditional love.

Baby Lou Lou Bell

Lou Lou Bell

After two weeks of grieving, I could not even go to work. Fortunately, a friend of mine looked in the paper and saw that there was a woman that had a litter of shih tzu. Mom said let’s go see them, but I told her that I was not ready. Well…She talked me into going, and we drove to Boca Raton. And before we got out of the car, I looked into the sky and said, “Louie Boy, if this is meant to be, give me a clear sign.” When we entered the home, there were steps, and mom, who was sick by then, could not go up the steps.  So I went, and sure enough…The woman had two black and white shih tzus and one golden and black. The golden and black shih tzu had the exact markings of Louie. I took her down to my mother, and she could not believe it. I said to Laura, the owner, that it was too soon for me to get another dog. But Laura said that everyone that came to look at the shih tzus wanted the golden and black one, but then told me that she had decided to keep her. She said now she knew why.

Granted, I had never met Laura before. I was a total stranger to her. One of the other people had called and made an offer on the golden and black shih tzu, but Laura refused. She said now she knew that she belonged with me, but I said I was not ready.  “Oh yes you are because I am giving her to you,” said Laura. Incredibly, she had been offered $2500 for her and did not take it—she wanted to give her to me. Laura said, “She belongs with you.” I told my mother that I could not, but mom replied, “What more of a sign do you want from Louie?” OMG she was right! I ended up taking her home that night with everything: cage, medicine, etc. There I was with a beautiful little puppy that looked exactly like Louie. Not surprisingly, Laura and I have been best friends ever since, and that was in February of 2004.

Laura was an angel from Heaven that gave someone who was grieving terribly a gift that words can not explain. Well, nothing is ever a coincidence. I called her Lou Lou Bell because I believed Louie sent her to me. My mother took over because I was still grieving for Louie, and she trained Lou Lou Bell. Lou Lou Bell adored her grandmother, and my mother adored her. So much that when my mother was in hospice the last few weeks of her life in my home Lou Lou Bell never left her side. She had to “ok” every nurse or doctor that came into the bedroom. My mother died in my arms with Lou Lou Bell at her side. Lou Lou Bell was our princess. She was so loving and always had to be touching us. I don’t think I would have gotten over Louie without her. There will always be a special place in my heart for Louie, and I miss him terribly, but Lou Lou Bell just made it a little easier for me.

Just like Louie, Lou Lou Bell traveled everywhere with me, on planes, cars and to work every day. She greeted the UPS, Fed Exp and mailman every day and loved all my employees, and they loved her. She had been diagnosed as a puppy with a liver shunt, and I had treated her holistically for 14 years. The last few months she had pretty much stopped eating and lost 6 pounds, which is a lot for a shih tzu. I had taken her several times to the vet concerned about the weight loss. Her liver enzymes were elevated, but they said things were still ok, and I tried several different homemade meals to get her to eat.

Then I had to rush her in the middle of the night to the emergency clinic. Things started to change dramatically. I was so concerned. I happened to remember that we had interviewed a woman who was a pet communicator from The Gurney Institute (www.gurneyinstitute.com/) several years earlier on our radio show, and she was a huge hit. Several people had used her before with rave reviews, so I contacted her. I was desperate to find out how I could help Lou Lou Bell. I felt she was slipping away. Her name was Sue Erwin. I explained to her what was going on and came up with several questions that I wanted to know about Lou Lou Bell. You may think I am crazy, but I do believe in communicating with pets, and I wanted to know how I could help her.

So, I filled out a form on the website, with my questions that I wanted answered (which many would be difficult to answer unless you were with Lou Lou Bell and myself in everyday life), and then Sue and I had a conversation about the questions before she communicated with Lou Lou Bell. I also sent a picture of Lou Lou Bell. A few of the questions I asked were about her eating habits, how does she feel and what can I do, timing of transition, do I continue with all the tests and procedures, what is this barking at night mean and any messages for me. I also communicated to Lou Lou Bell that Sue would be in contact with her, and she was free to tell her anything she wanted to, even if it was personal. After Sue communicated with Lou Lou Bell, we had a long conversation to discuss what she had to say. Despite my doubts and fears, I was astounded by the results. It was amazing. Sue gave me details and images that she would have no idea about Lou Lou Bell. I was absolutely blown away. Sue made some suggestion to me on how to communicate to deal with a few things, and I could not believe how right she was. So much of what she said was validated. Sue was very knowable, kind and told me numerous stories of different circumstances with animals, even her own. Sues own animals are what got her started in learning to communicate and work with Carol Gurney and the Gurney Institute. She is an amazing woman and so gifted. I highly recommend her. Please read Sue’s story: http://www.gurneyinstitute.com/consultations/schedule-with-associate/sue-erwin/.

Fast forward a few weeks later I had to rush Lou Lou Bell to the hospital in the middle of the night. After a few days of all kinds of testing related to her liver shunt, things began getting worse. A week later, I had to rush her again to the hospital in the middle of the night. She had a major seizure. It was horrible. The emergency clinic wanted to keep her, but I knew she did not want to stay, and, if I was going to lose her, I wanted her to be with me. So, I made the decision to take her home. Unfortunately, she had two more seizures in the night. I called Sue Erwin first thing in the morning, and Sue spoke with Lou Lou Bell again and told me that she could not stand the pain anymore,  that she needed my help to transition. She also gave me images and wishes and did not want to transition in a veterinary hospital. (She was always scared to death and would shake when we had to go to the vet.) I called the vet right after and knew that I had to make a very difficult decision. The vet could not come to my home, but she gave me the name of Lap of Love www.lapoflove.com, which is a hospice for pets that comes to your home. I scheduled them for 5:00 pm.

During this whole time thank God I had Glenn to help me make these decisions and to support me. Lou Lou Bell loved him dearly. Lou Lou Bell had given Sue an image and that is the image she portrayed to me. I knew in my heart what had to be done. But later in the afternoon, we though she was rallying, and I could not do it, so I called Lap of Love and wanted to cancel the appointment. They said why not let the vet come out and examine her and that I did not have to make any decisions. Dr. Amanda Grant came and looked at all of Lou Lou Bells records and examined her. It was not good news, and Dr. Grant said it would only get worse with the seizures. Oh, how my heart was breaking. I wanted at least one more night with her, to hold her and love her and talk to her. So, Dr. Amanda came up with a plan so that we could have additional time with Lou Lou Bell. Hopefully, at least one more night.

Lou Lou Bell making sure I wouldn’t travel without her.

We prayed she would not have another seizure that night, and, if she did, we would administer her medicine that would stop the seizure until Dr. Amanda Grant could come back out. I prayed that we would have some kind of sign that would tell me that it was the right thing to do. Lou Lou Bell stayed in my arms all night, and at 7:15 am I received the sign. She had a minor seizure, and I made the call. By 9:15am Dr Amanda was back at my home. We had all her stuffed animals around us and her favorite toys. It was such a difficult decision.
She peacefully passed away in my arms with Glenn arms around us. It was her wish. “I would like to express my deep appreciation for the compassion and skill of Dr. Amanda Grant. Her quiet composure, gentle manner and accommodating demeanor made all the difference in the world in saying goodbye to our beloved princess. I highly recommend Dr. Amanda Grant and the Lap of Love. They are amazing. Lou Lou is in God’s hands, and we had a beautiful rainbow that morning. She was so beautiful.

My heart breaks as I say to you “later” my beautiful princess until we meet again. I didn’t think that I could be as attached to Lou Lou Bell as I was to Louie. Boy was I wrong. That gut-wrenching feeling of the loss of another child. I am devastated. I know you are not suffering any more. You are in God’s hands with Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle Ronnie and Louie. But selfishly I am grieving not having you by my side. Everywhere in this house I feel you from under my desk in my office, cuddling you in bed, your empty bowls, watching you sleep on your teddy bear, our long walks and chasing you in the yard. Every toy in the house reminds me of you. Oh, how it hurts. I know how much you loved me and I loved you to the same. Thank you for showing me what true unconditional love is. I cannot adequately express my love for this four-legged child. She saved me when I didn’t even know I needed to be saved. I miss you and love you forever. Rest in Peace my beautiful angel.

Lou Lou Bell on vacation at Amber’s house with daughter, Reagan.

Amber groomed Lou Lou Bell every two weeks for 14 years. Amber was like her second mother.

This was our Christmas card one year.